If you would like to visit a BDSM club, engage a Domme or Dom, you should familiarize yourself with the rules and etiquette.

What is High Protocol?

Do you like rules and boundaries? Most Dominants do. In the Kink lifestyle, High Protocol refers to a set of rules and etiquette that must be followed and lived by. It is a lifestyle that is lived 24/7. These rules and etiquette are seen as acceptable behavior in Dom/sub relationships.

High Protocol is training that a Dominant will give their submissive/slave in order to exert total, yet subtle control over them. Should a submissive disobey a rule or break etiquette, these will usually be enforced again with a punishment or disciplinary measures. The Dominant will determine the time, date, and place for this to be executed and it may even be done publicly depending on the severity of the 'crime' committed by the submissive.

High Protocol requires that a submissive/slave's mind is mentally conditioned in such a way that a submissive wants to and willingly serves their Mistress/Master in every way that satisfies them True 24/7 slaves have willingly given up their right to do or say anything without permission. All decisions are made by their Lady/Lord.

There is such a thing as 'low protocol' and this can usually be observed at fetish parties where light BDSM activities are being played out and there is no long-lasting relationship between the play partners, except to have some fun for the duration of the party or play session.  There are hardly any rules and only a handful of acceptable behaviors that need to be followed by everyone attending.

Examples of High Protocol

There are quite a number.  One of the most common would be the use of titles when addressing someone. A Dominant would always be addressed as Sir, Madam, Master, or Mistress.  If you are unsure, ask.  A slave or submissive who is in attendance with their Dominant will usually be wearing a collar and may even be on a leash. Do not approach this person unless you have spoken to their Mistress/Master beforehand. There are dynamics in that relationship that you are not aware of and it could cause damage to that relationship if you approach without permission.

Other examples of High Protocol may include the following:

  1. Submissives and slaves should always kneel in front of their Mistress/Master, or stand/sit as instructed.
  2. A submissive must never turn their back on their Dominant.
  3. A slave must always lower their eyes and gaze when being addressed.
  4. Submissives and slaves must ask permission from their Dominant to use the toilet.
  5. Dominants always walk two steps ahead of their submissives and slaves.
  6. A Mistress/Master should instruct their submissive or slave to kneel in the presence of another Domina.
  7. Presentation is everything and every submissive and slave should be dressed impeccably at all times, unless instructed otherwise by their Dominant.
  8. Dominants may perform a full inspection of their submissive or slave, such as inspecting their clothing, standing or sitting positions, whether their genitals are shaved or not, haircuts, etc.

The list of instructions for slaves and submissives is quite extensive and may vary from each Dom/sub relationship as each of those relationships comes with its own individual dynamics.

High Protocol is hard work. It requires time, education, training, and dedication. It does form a part of mental manipulation and therefore this kind of dynamic between two parties requires the full consent of the submissive, and discussions about what will and will not take place within the relationship. Usually, a contract is agreed upon by both parties. As true slavery has been abolished, it is imperative that guidelines are set and adhered to.

High Protocol can, however, be very appealing for many people in that it sets out definite structures and clear guidelines for both parties. As with all Dom/sub relationships, it is equally enjoyable for one person to relinquish control as it is for the other to take it. Relationships/partnerships that follow or live a 24/7 life incorporating High Protocol can be extremely demanding, especially on a submissive or slave who is required to follow and live by strict rules and instructions. High Protocol requires time, effort, work, dedication, and commitment.  It is not some role play or Kink activity. It governs and rules the way things are done and spoken.

Regardless of how outrageous or bizarre this type of relationship may seem to outsiders, one must always be aware that consent has been willingly given by the submissive/slave to their Mistress/Master. Both parties involved must have the utmost respect, tolerance, discretion, honesty, flexibility, and empathy toward each other.  They must also be completely aware of themselves as individuals and the pathways for negotiation must always remain open. High Protocol must be wanted, needed, and truly sought after and desired in order for it to work and ensure the happiness of both the Dominant and the submissive or slave.

About the Author

The Dark Baroness has more than 20 years of experience as a Pro Domme. She lives the High Protocol with passion. She is prepared to teach anyone interested in the lifestyle and expects everyone to respect these intrinsic rules.